Do you know?

Did you notice?

Things can't go back like they were before.

There's a gap between us.

Do you know?

No matter how hard I try, it just can't be.

It still feels awkward.

Unlike before.

ATTENTION TESL STUDENTS!!!

ETHOS is going to launch its OWN NEWSLETTER!

We need a committee and we need YOU (yes you!) to join our team! We need PHOTOGRAPHERS, EDITORS, JOURNALISTS AND DESIGNERS!

Want to be a part of something cool? Interested? Come and join us! Give us your name by leaving a comment here or give me a call at 013-7049224!

You wouldn't want to miss this great opportunity to shine! Hurry up and contact us before this Friday! If you happen to stumble on this blog, spread the word to other TESLIANS too! SEATS are limited!

*Note that we need people who are committed to the task and be passionate as well. Remember, give me a call or a text stating your full name, what semester and we'll meet you for sure! ;D

A Secret Confession

I have a secret confession. I used to be a GOSSIP GIRL.

I used to love talking about people's dirt. I loved to eavesdrop on conversation. I loved to spread rumours.

It's true. And I'm ashamed.

Without realising, I used to talk about my friends behind their backs. I used to pretend to be a good listener and tell others about it.

I know, my obsession in meddling in others' personal lives SUCKED, BIG TIME.

But now I learned to stop myself from involving in the bad-mouthing activity. And if I hear a rumour, I'd keep it to myself. Unless if it involves my personal space. I won't pass around the gossip of course, I'd share it with a trusty friend.

If these symptoms seem familiar to you, you'd better stop trashing your mouth. You'll hurt feelings. You'll lose friends. You won't be trusted anymore. My word of advice is, try to place yourself into that person's shoes and try to imagine what it would feel like to get hurt. I have. So STOP NOW. Caring about a friend and listening to a rumour is two TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS!

And if you are about to hear 'something-something' about certain someone, stop your friend and say you don't want to be a part of it. If it's too late, keep the info to yourself and yourself ONLY.

Oh, one last tip. DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING people told you about another 'she' or 'he'. It is ALWAYS FALSE and ALWAYS MIXED + ADDED UP. It might not sound exactly like the way you heard it. Don't believe in others' words unless you've witnessed, experienced and found it is true yourself!

Hear me out. Been there, done that. Don't get entangled in all of this. Though it might be fun for the first few moments, it will turn into a disaster later on and WILL HAUNT you for the rest of your lives. Trust me. Don't gossip around.

;)

Dreaming Too Much

I don't know about you guys but I think a story could be entertaining, melancholic and a heartache. Sometimes reading a book is good way to visualize ourselves in other characters that we aren't and go through ONE HELL OF A RIDE.

Dreaming and fantasizing is good for the brain too right?

But I'm dreaming too much.

I've got sucked into the world of fantasy.

It might be the 'LONG AND DULL HOLIDAY SYNDROME'.

I feel so lazy to get out of the house.

I prefer to sit at home and watch TV than go out and have fun.

I day-dream about ridiculous things ALL THE TIME.

And the frightful thing is that I rather spend my time sleeping and dreaming than to wake up in this boring world.

I get lazier by the second.

I'm dreaming too much. Can someone get me out of this phase?

Damn you long holiday!

A favour

Friends, readers, as some of you may know I'm currently writing a story on my other blog. So far I have two followers and some readers outside 'Bloggers' community.

I was hoping I could have your support on this one. I'd really like to become a writer one day and I hope my works will get publication, recognition and are favoured. But I can't do it without you.

So, I hope you can visit my page and promote it to others to read as well. I DESPERATELY need feedbacks and criticism to be good at what I'm doing now. Read my story and leave a comment.

I really appreciate it.

For others who are loyal readers, THANK YOU for your support.

The story is at 'blackroseonly.blogspot.com'

Sincerely,

T.A

My Type of Guy?

If I can choose a guy, I’d choose the person who can make me fall in love with him.

Some say I’m too ‘picky’. I don’t think so. I just hope to get the best because why should I settle for something less?

I’ll admit it, sometimes it bothers me to see couples dating and announcing their relationship out loud. But then I think again. Nope! I’m happy.

I don’t really like being involved with someone else if there’s a chance my soulmate could be out there, waiting for me.

I just hope one thing in a guy; have a good faith in God. I’m not looking for an ustaz or anything but I hope he can guide my children and me. If he can’t do that, there goes my children’s future.

Romantic? Let’s face it, Malaysian guys aren’t really romantic. So, yeah, I would love some romance from him but I expect him to be himself too. It will be SOO SEXY if a guy is romantic in his own way.

I hope he’s not a smoker. Because I don’t want my children to get asthma from all the unhealthy smokes. If a person is not a smoker, then I truly believe he loves himself too much to kill himself. And he must love his family more than to be/stay addicted to it.

I’ve seen violence in some families so I hope he isn’t one. I don’t want bruises on my kids’ face!

Tall, handsome, smart? Nah, those qualities don’t really matters. Coz I’m the type of person who looks at personality rather than appearance.

But most of all, I want to find a guy who can make fall head over heels for him. And when we talk, there would be that ‘connection’ and chemistry between us. I hope he accepts me for who I am and not and in exchange, I’ll do the same. I’m not really ‘choosy’ or have high standards. I just want to find true love. Is that even wrong?

Self-Inflicted Pain

At this point, I have no misery left in me. Even if it’s hard or tough, I can’t seem to drown myself in self-pity because I know better to keep my head up high than to sink in my tears. Sympathising yourself is the easiest thing to do but getting up on your feet seems so much more impossible. I used to be that person who just feels mad at everything and everyone. Nothing was ever right or good enough for me. I’ve had many remorse of my past. But that was before.

With the death, I think I’m getting better at coping with my problems. The jealousy in me started to cease and little by little, I was happy. I’ve never felt so calm and reserved like now. I was determined to get my old self back; the one who would always be happy and content with everything that I had, no matter if it rains or thunder. Thanks to Allah, I’ve met myself back. But, there’s just one problem. I have lost my touch.

Before, all the rage and contempt built up a passion from within that continued to give birth to my inspirations. I could write and write without knowing pain or boredom. I could indulge myself in pain and sorrow for hours and days. With one trouble I could write ten pages long of ink and never get tired of it. But now that I’m plain happy, I thought I could write about happy thoughts and events but I just can’t find any. Look at me now, as I am writing this, I am reminiscing back to my previous self-inflicted pain and see, I could write.

To others, miseries only bring misfortune but to writers, it is one of the most beautiful gifts from God. It’s so amazing; the power and need to pour all the anger into the pure sheet of white papers. Yes, it’s a monster but with the existence of monster, there’s the will to fight and to bring them down. Even if all efforts meet with damnation and all hopes were lost, warriors would fight till the end. It’s a never ending battle. That is what it’s like for us writers. With our own grief and blood, we would gather all that’s bright like the sun and the need for love to conquer our heartache. And now that the monster’s gone, the pain vanished, what is there left for my ink to fight for?

This is a dilemma and I can’t seem to find any other way to solve it than to go running back to the arms of misery. What can I do? Writing is my forte and my will to wake up each other day. Without it, I am nothing, I’m nobody. And I would hate it if that happens. It’s the same as living life without air. Making sacrifices and going through the labour without having something to achieve. Living life without making any contribution, that just sucks. If that’s the case then life itself is not worth living for. It’s like men without religion and a man without a soul.

I am a self-inflicted soul.