Problems..

One problem may lead to another. As it grows, the more complicated it gets. I have a problem. Somehow, I managed to sensed it 4 days earlier. My grandmother is sick. She's having a ketumbuhan in her kidney and an amount of water is stuck in her tummy. Pakar2 will check in on her tomorrow. Until then I hope the situation will not get worse. It started like this.

She is too stubborn to eat a proper meal before taking her meds. Lately we celebrated Hari Raya Korban but she was alone because she was too stubborn to fly to here as my Aunt would support her flight. My family celebrated Hari Raya Haji in Johor because it was determined and agreed by my parents that we would balik kg ikut turns. My Aunt is celebrating The Festive with her new big family and my other Aunt is doing the same as well.

My mum and my Aunt said my grandmother is acting like a child again, seeking attention. Why wouldn't she? She's all alone back in Kedah. I felt the acting too everytime she comes here, not to complain or anything but I find it funny.

I don't know what to do. It's an adult world. The more aged we are, the merrier the problems would come to us.

Smiling

When we were at the bus stop, a not so estranged topic came out out of the blue. Chegu asked me when I'll have a BOYFRIEND. I looked up at two among of my good friends to see how they would react. Speaker 1 had her eyes widened and scolded+joked about forbidding me from having one. Speaker 2 was ready to jump in and restate her VERY STRICT opinion about it.

I smiled and Speaker 1 caught me smiling right after Speaker 3 said its okay for me to have one. To be frank, I wasn't smiling due to the reaction gave by Speaker 3. I am always amused by everything Speaker 1 and Speaker 2 said. What they said would be the oppose of what a group of people back in my hometown would say. My friends from school would be excited out of no reason but here my friends are WAY different. Here, they'd give me reasons to why I shouldn't do this and that.

What made me to smile? Haha. It's because of my protective friends here. Seriously, I know even if they were 'mengeji' me, I know deep down inside they actually want the best for me. I DON'T THINK BUT I KNOW they love me! haha. That's why I'm smiling! Yeay! Haha..

Bad Day.

Hye readers, bad news. I lost my handphone. It's quite embarassing actually. It slipped out of my pocket and fell into the 'lubang jamban'. Bagos x? haha. At first I was sad because the phone was given to me as a birthday present and Yun is actually the one who paid half the price of the handphone with my mum donated a bit. I was speechless when it fell. Then I rushed out of the toilet and went to my bag. I hid my face in my bag and cried(a bit). Luckily my friends were there. SO, thanks to Ryn, Niessa, Yana and Kak Long, I felt better. They even were willingly to escort me to Masalam to retrieve my old number back but when we were on our way, I suddenly was reminded by Ryn that the number was registered under Yun's name. So, instead we went and accompany Ryn to ger her new IC and we did some shopping ourselves. But, back at Tesl Square, I was cheered up because of Diayana's jokes, Kak Long's experiences and Ryn's sarcasm+ stupid statements! Haha. Then I went from -ve to a TOTAL +ve!! yeay! I laughed hard thinking about the incident. How brilliant I was to brought in my handphone the toilet with me! Yeah! It was rather stupid. And the day keeps getting worse from time to time for all of us but I didn't mind because I have my friends besides me. I was right, even if I have to face a bad day and all the silly stuffs throughout this semester, I won't be worried. Because I have my friends besides me. They really are true friends. Thanks gurls! I love you all so much!!!

I DARE You Asasians!

So, this morning Kak Long told me that our result came out. So after my shower, I rushed to my laptop and checked out my result! Guess what? I scored 3.13 only. A- : MS, B+ : CSS, CR &IES. B: CL, CW & LS, B- : GRMR. Haha! It's okay I guess coz I've got a 3 Poiters but I'm still not satisfied with it. It felt like there was so much more I could have done but hey, no complaining! That's what you get when you snooze around the 1st sem!

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to declare a war between my friends and I. I physically and mentally challenge all of you Asasians out there to score 3.5+ and hit the Dean'sList! Yes, that's right! I have a few goals myself for the next sem!

1. To score 3.5+
2. To beat the Top Scorers of 1C Family.
3. Hit the Dean's List.
4. Work my a** off & be strong at whatever things they throw at us!
5. Strengthen the bond between my friends and I!
6. Do all the things we wished we've done in the 1st sem!

So, to you out there, take my challenge. I dare you! See you this upcoming Sunday or even Monday! Be sure to catch me doing my best in sem 2! Will you do the same? Haha! We'll see!

P.S: Congrats everyone on their success! If you didn't score high, don' worry! We still have the second sem! See you there! Alhamdullillah...

Can you believe it? Haha! Neither can I!

Heyya people, I'm back. Only this time, I've got some news.

Okay, firstly, I just want to say thank you to all of you who had made one of my wishes come true. Years ago, I often prayed and tried hard to change who I am. Everyday of my life, I have been struggling with deep thought of my own and those things around me were unbearable. I tried everything but none worked. It only made worse when I did gave up on myself at some point there. Looking back, I am glad and very grateful to accomplish things I thought were impossible. I guess, I didn't see the whole situation completely enough and I used to jump on the first conclusion I had in mind.

Not to accuse anyone or even pointing fingers at others but I think it has something to do with me mixing with people of my own. The new acquaintances I made this year are very much dearest to me. They dare to look into my eyes, kick down the barriers I made within myself and taught me things no one else would too shy to even think about. I shall not say who are these people because you out of all people should know it's you. My new friends I made these past few months are more grown-up, more mature and are independent, of course. Each has their own story to tell, everyone have their dreams upholding in their heart and all of course have fears they have to conquer before our time has come to depart.

I am proud to say that I have successfully changed. Yes, that is one of my goals since last two years. I was very immature, lack of self-confidence and not surprisingly a spoilt brat back then. Can't say I have totally changed but I did, a bit. My experience as a college student has taught me that, being friends with those people has made me to think and time passes to cure all of my absence of heart. Slowly, I am beginning to feel things whole-heartedly. I was a coward, I was constantly afraid of getting hurt, physically and mentally and I am still now but that feeling is starting to fade away slowly. And when hope was lost for me ,I gave up. But not anymore! My closed ones were hurt by that monster of me. But now, now I stand tall among the crowd. I have drop the feeling of insecure that surrounded me. I gained trust and am giving them all back to the world! My level of confidence is higher than it was before. I can now see situations more clearly. It is as though I didn't have to wear a spectacles or even a contanct lens to see things as sharp as an eagle's eyes.

I am changing, slowly. The progressions I made was beyond words that no single soul can utter right now. Right now, I don't really care what people think of me. I don't want people to take me for granted anymore. I shouldn't be afraid to try new things and meet new people anymore. I have never realised I would have come this far on my journey of becoming the better me. I know some of my friends wouldn't like these changes but know what? I don't care! I am who I'm supposed to be, I am where I am. I have fought inside out with all the strength I never thought I possess and now the world will see the new and better me. Can you believe it? Haha! Neither can I!