Problems..

One problem may lead to another. As it grows, the more complicated it gets. I have a problem. Somehow, I managed to sensed it 4 days earlier. My grandmother is sick. She's having a ketumbuhan in her kidney and an amount of water is stuck in her tummy. Pakar2 will check in on her tomorrow. Until then I hope the situation will not get worse. It started like this.

She is too stubborn to eat a proper meal before taking her meds. Lately we celebrated Hari Raya Korban but she was alone because she was too stubborn to fly to here as my Aunt would support her flight. My family celebrated Hari Raya Haji in Johor because it was determined and agreed by my parents that we would balik kg ikut turns. My Aunt is celebrating The Festive with her new big family and my other Aunt is doing the same as well.

My mum and my Aunt said my grandmother is acting like a child again, seeking attention. Why wouldn't she? She's all alone back in Kedah. I felt the acting too everytime she comes here, not to complain or anything but I find it funny.

I don't know what to do. It's an adult world. The more aged we are, the merrier the problems would come to us.

Smiling

When we were at the bus stop, a not so estranged topic came out out of the blue. Chegu asked me when I'll have a BOYFRIEND. I looked up at two among of my good friends to see how they would react. Speaker 1 had her eyes widened and scolded+joked about forbidding me from having one. Speaker 2 was ready to jump in and restate her VERY STRICT opinion about it.

I smiled and Speaker 1 caught me smiling right after Speaker 3 said its okay for me to have one. To be frank, I wasn't smiling due to the reaction gave by Speaker 3. I am always amused by everything Speaker 1 and Speaker 2 said. What they said would be the oppose of what a group of people back in my hometown would say. My friends from school would be excited out of no reason but here my friends are WAY different. Here, they'd give me reasons to why I shouldn't do this and that.

What made me to smile? Haha. It's because of my protective friends here. Seriously, I know even if they were 'mengeji' me, I know deep down inside they actually want the best for me. I DON'T THINK BUT I KNOW they love me! haha. That's why I'm smiling! Yeay! Haha..

Bad Day.

Hye readers, bad news. I lost my handphone. It's quite embarassing actually. It slipped out of my pocket and fell into the 'lubang jamban'. Bagos x? haha. At first I was sad because the phone was given to me as a birthday present and Yun is actually the one who paid half the price of the handphone with my mum donated a bit. I was speechless when it fell. Then I rushed out of the toilet and went to my bag. I hid my face in my bag and cried(a bit). Luckily my friends were there. SO, thanks to Ryn, Niessa, Yana and Kak Long, I felt better. They even were willingly to escort me to Masalam to retrieve my old number back but when we were on our way, I suddenly was reminded by Ryn that the number was registered under Yun's name. So, instead we went and accompany Ryn to ger her new IC and we did some shopping ourselves. But, back at Tesl Square, I was cheered up because of Diayana's jokes, Kak Long's experiences and Ryn's sarcasm+ stupid statements! Haha. Then I went from -ve to a TOTAL +ve!! yeay! I laughed hard thinking about the incident. How brilliant I was to brought in my handphone the toilet with me! Yeah! It was rather stupid. And the day keeps getting worse from time to time for all of us but I didn't mind because I have my friends besides me. I was right, even if I have to face a bad day and all the silly stuffs throughout this semester, I won't be worried. Because I have my friends besides me. They really are true friends. Thanks gurls! I love you all so much!!!

I DARE You Asasians!

So, this morning Kak Long told me that our result came out. So after my shower, I rushed to my laptop and checked out my result! Guess what? I scored 3.13 only. A- : MS, B+ : CSS, CR &IES. B: CL, CW & LS, B- : GRMR. Haha! It's okay I guess coz I've got a 3 Poiters but I'm still not satisfied with it. It felt like there was so much more I could have done but hey, no complaining! That's what you get when you snooze around the 1st sem!

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to declare a war between my friends and I. I physically and mentally challenge all of you Asasians out there to score 3.5+ and hit the Dean'sList! Yes, that's right! I have a few goals myself for the next sem!

1. To score 3.5+
2. To beat the Top Scorers of 1C Family.
3. Hit the Dean's List.
4. Work my a** off & be strong at whatever things they throw at us!
5. Strengthen the bond between my friends and I!
6. Do all the things we wished we've done in the 1st sem!

So, to you out there, take my challenge. I dare you! See you this upcoming Sunday or even Monday! Be sure to catch me doing my best in sem 2! Will you do the same? Haha! We'll see!

P.S: Congrats everyone on their success! If you didn't score high, don' worry! We still have the second sem! See you there! Alhamdullillah...

Can you believe it? Haha! Neither can I!

Heyya people, I'm back. Only this time, I've got some news.

Okay, firstly, I just want to say thank you to all of you who had made one of my wishes come true. Years ago, I often prayed and tried hard to change who I am. Everyday of my life, I have been struggling with deep thought of my own and those things around me were unbearable. I tried everything but none worked. It only made worse when I did gave up on myself at some point there. Looking back, I am glad and very grateful to accomplish things I thought were impossible. I guess, I didn't see the whole situation completely enough and I used to jump on the first conclusion I had in mind.

Not to accuse anyone or even pointing fingers at others but I think it has something to do with me mixing with people of my own. The new acquaintances I made this year are very much dearest to me. They dare to look into my eyes, kick down the barriers I made within myself and taught me things no one else would too shy to even think about. I shall not say who are these people because you out of all people should know it's you. My new friends I made these past few months are more grown-up, more mature and are independent, of course. Each has their own story to tell, everyone have their dreams upholding in their heart and all of course have fears they have to conquer before our time has come to depart.

I am proud to say that I have successfully changed. Yes, that is one of my goals since last two years. I was very immature, lack of self-confidence and not surprisingly a spoilt brat back then. Can't say I have totally changed but I did, a bit. My experience as a college student has taught me that, being friends with those people has made me to think and time passes to cure all of my absence of heart. Slowly, I am beginning to feel things whole-heartedly. I was a coward, I was constantly afraid of getting hurt, physically and mentally and I am still now but that feeling is starting to fade away slowly. And when hope was lost for me ,I gave up. But not anymore! My closed ones were hurt by that monster of me. But now, now I stand tall among the crowd. I have drop the feeling of insecure that surrounded me. I gained trust and am giving them all back to the world! My level of confidence is higher than it was before. I can now see situations more clearly. It is as though I didn't have to wear a spectacles or even a contanct lens to see things as sharp as an eagle's eyes.

I am changing, slowly. The progressions I made was beyond words that no single soul can utter right now. Right now, I don't really care what people think of me. I don't want people to take me for granted anymore. I shouldn't be afraid to try new things and meet new people anymore. I have never realised I would have come this far on my journey of becoming the better me. I know some of my friends wouldn't like these changes but know what? I don't care! I am who I'm supposed to be, I am where I am. I have fought inside out with all the strength I never thought I possess and now the world will see the new and better me. Can you believe it? Haha! Neither can I!

Am I a freak?

Okay, I know you know that I know that I am a magnet to freaks? How in the world did this happen? I DO NOT KNOW. But maybe, just maybe, it's because I am a freak too.. Haha.. Should I show yah? erm.... Okay! Let's go! haha..


Things that I like:

1. Rainy days.. I like to watch how the rain drops from the sky to the ground. I like the way it touches the Earth and everything that is in it. I love it when it rains coz it's the best time to take a nap or read. The rain makes it cold that it actually puts my sweater,jacket and my blanket to work. It feels like the nature wants to communicate with me and wants to touch me, inside out. It's also the perfect time to cry because I too produce rain from my heart and if I cry in rain, no one would actually notice. In rain, I feel like I'm taking a shower which comforts me and makes me fresh! I can smell it moments before it starts to rain and I love it! It's like no other.

2. Candies and chocolates! I am not an experties but the taste of the sweetness makes me want to enjoy life and taste such happiness. I love it when it melts so softly and makes me to salivate more and ended up for more. My stomach also loves the company of them! To me, you've got to lick it all up until the end so you'll enjoy every taste of it and never miss a thing. It's a paradise!

3. Old books like the classis ones! Gosh! I love the smell and the look of it. It may be old but it's historical even if it's not. It reminds me of the old days way back before I was born to this world. It somehow makes me wonder what it's like to be on those eras where you don't have technology and you write on paper with neat handwritings using those old pen(which in Harry Potter's movies are using). Writing,reading and looking at it take me back to the golden age. It's so old and yet so valuable!

4. Rabbits.. They are such fragile animals. Their fur is so smooth while their behaviour is so tender. They're cute too. My old rabbit, Danielita have this some sort of connection with me. I know it sounds crazy but when I love something, I"d love it with all my heart that I do not know such feeling exist inside of me. They tend to be rather soft, a lil bit naughty but still has the need to be pampered,to be loved especially the bunnies. Ah, how I miss her...

5. The roads. I love them! Especially the old pavement in the street. It has historical values. It made me to think, have any leaders and successful people walked this road before me? Where does it take me if I follow it until the end? Those are questions that popped in my mind everytime I walk on the road. I like the condition of the road after the rain. It looks wet and so calm and peace. I know road leads to a journey which no one will know. That's why I love the roads. In highway, I'd put on my headphones and hear to the music playing while watching the cars passed beyond me and the scenery that comes with every road there is.

6. Mind. Who doesn't have one,right? I mean, it's the place where people think. And I know this sounds so NOT normal but I wish I can dive into every people's mind. Every moment passed, I wonder what are people around me thinking, what are their thoughts are they thinking exactly like what I am thinking? Human's mind are spectacular. It's amazing. It's the centre of the head.We differ what is good and bad there. We criticise people in it. It's our secret place where no one can read or hear us out. It's amazing!

7. L.O.V.E. I want to experience love coz I lack of it. I am capable of loving someone without conditions and love the a person whole-heartedly. I want to feel it. I wanna feel my heart feels ache and seems like blowing up from too much capacity of love that it can't bear no more. Is love really special like what I read in novels? Or that just a bull that people write from their fantasy and not reality-based? Is there such thing as true love? Love not for the sake of your lust, not for the intention of *uc*ing people off and defenitely not for the future sake(money). Is there something so honour, sincere and beautiful like that? Tell me World. Is there anything like that? If so, I want to find one. I'll hold back until I find my other half,my true lover. He would love me without conditions, he who could communicates well with me, he who sees things I hide from others, he who sees my bad habits as a unique feature, he who wouldn't touch me until we get married, he who would not betray me physically,mentally and emotionally, he who find me attractive when I am not. Is there such guy for me? If I am destined to meet with him and love is the one that connect us then I'd wait. I'll wait till he shows up. I'll wait till my death arrives. For I would not betray his patience for longing to meet me too.

8. Currency. I love money, who doesn't? It's not coz it enables me to buy stuff but I want to see the creativeness of each country in producing the money. I prefer coins because it's not paper(see? it doesn't make any sense). Everytime any relatives of mine visit foreign country I'd ask them to just bring me a coin. I love to collect them and at the end of the day, I'd compare all of them to see how different it is Malaysia from each country. My dream is to travel all around the world right so that's why the coins are important to me. It inspire me to achieve my dreams which I day I hope will come true. If I am not capable of doing so then it is enough to travel just by their coins. Haha..

9. Scenery. Ouh I love them! Their beauty is undescribable. Nothing can be compared to the Mighty's creation. Everytime I look at the sunset or even the blue sky, there's an odd feeling of touched. I feel like crying because I cannot comprehend the feeling of being able to see and enjoy such view. It's the thing that got me to poetry. You see, because I was unable to secribe what I saw as the way I could say, so I write. I am that kind of person. I cannot say what I feels and thus I write it all down..


Haha.. See what I mean? So, do you think I am a freak because I fascinate these stuff? Hehe.. Up to you to decide but I think it's normal, well at least for me! Hehe. Okay, you know you despise me, Don't miszed me!
T.A

Ishk!

Hey, I'm at home. The hols are starting. Yeah, although this means I'll have my breaks but it's quite boring.

For starters, why everytime someone want to talk about me she would interrupt us and change the subject to him? Urgh! I don't know what's happening. It's either her habbit of hers or just her.. I'm not sure which one it is. Yeah, she's always so proud of him that she's constantly talking about him. I rarely hear stories about me from her lips. All I keep hearing is his name. All the good stuff would be credited to him. So what am I? A loser? Urgh! NOT FAIR ok! NOT FAIR!

Friend MuCh..? Hurm...

Hey, before the sem ends, let me share with you on some very crucial tips on true friends...

1. They would laugh at you when you do something embarrassing.


2. They remember the worst things you experienced in your life.


3. They could see and read both your facial expressions and body language in an instance.


4. They would ask you weird questions and have the highest level of curiosity when it comes to you.


5. They would always pull a prank on you.


6. They eat from your dinner plate.


7. They drink from your straws.


8. They tend to be TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO overprotective.


9. They borrow your cutest t-shirt.


10. They always lend you money and say they'll charge addition fees.


11. They act as your bodyguard and ask you to pay them.


12. They notice the funniest things about you and make fun of it.


13. They critics your attire and behaviour face-to-face.


14. They never introduce you to cute or hot guys.


15. They always come superbly late or annoyingly early from the time agreed.


16. They get on your nerves almost ALL the time.


17. They challenge you to do things you have never imagined.


18. And lastly, your humiliation is their recognition.

They seem annoying, bullying and demanding but they're all you've got. Everything they do to you have a solid reason. They're a pest,the joker in your life but they are also the reason you're not alone and smiling.

Don't believe me? Well, look at a list of my so-called 'TRUE FRIENDS' and what they do to me:

1. Ryn: She's the most annoying among them all. She eats a lot and never miss a chance on making fun of me.


2. Niessa: Well, for this one, it's a special case. Err..it's the other way around. Hahaha.. I'm the one who would always bug and bully her(kinda?). Coz, she's just interesting to watch. Don't trust me? Ask Ryn! Haha. ;)
3. Dieyana: Her? Urgh! She annoys me, like what siblings do. Lately, I have become one of her victims. Yeah, she'd find a way to annoy me. That's what she do best. :)
4. Qila: Pergh! She's one of my favourites! She's a victim of course! Hehe.. She's always cool and relaxed. Sometimes she's not annoyed or even affected by what I do to her. HEhe..

See what I mean? Although sometimes I'm the victim or the prey, I am still their friend. We're not gonna and we can't ALWAYS be there for all of them but we'd help all we can. Those few people are only a part of my friends and they're not the only ones. They're just examples and this is me revealing their names to annoy them. Hey, that's what I do best!

Anyway, I'm amazed because I'm as what they call 'Setan Kecil!' and still today they are stay my victims. Hey, I won't admit some things but they (ESPECIALL NIESSA) knows what I really meant inside. Sometimes it made it easy for me but other times it's painful.

Haha.. Enough ,I think for now. Anyway, till we meet again! You know I annoy you, don't despise me. Yours truly,

T.A

TONY ROMA'S

Yesterday, my family and I decided to break fast at Tony Roma's, Pavillion, KL. It was on my sister. She and my other sister went first to reserve a place for us. They then called me to as me on what to eat. I said a Steak. It has been long time since I longed for the meal for break fast. When we arrived, we were earlierthan expected and so e went on window shopping. It was 6 something then we went to the place and sat at our table.



When I first saw the image of the steak I ordered, I was quite dissapointed because it lokked small and my stomach as rebelling like hell. Haha, I know! But then when it's nearly time the iters were busy attendig to tables and serving foods. When I saw my meal, I was a little bit dissapointed but when I started to eat, I cannot finish it, unlike what I always do. Seriously, it was MARVELLOUS!!! Sedap GILER!!! Hehe.. Everything was delicious. From the Appetizers to the Desserts!

The waiters and waitress? They were fantastic! Every now and then a waiter would come to our table and asked us whether we were satisfied with their services and foods? They were also excellent with timing. When we finished our meal, they would come at the right time and ask us to take the empty plates. Hehe. Then lastly, when we were cold after eating the desserts, our waiter (Yes! Each table had their specific waiter/waitress! Cool huh?) came and gave us a hot tissue to warm ourselves. Never in my life of any restaurants provide us such convenient services! In the end, the Chief of Waiter came with the bill requested. He asked us whether our waiter was doing his job accurately or if we wanted to complain. But there was nothing to be complained about. Sweet of them right? Haha.

It's official! My favourite restaurant is now TONY ROMA'S. Check it out and you'll be sure to agree with me!

Jewels in my eyes, diamonds in my heart.

I think you know what does the heading mean. I know, every week is filled with stress and everything but today I can feel the pressure. For quite a long time, the 'jewels' and the 'diamonds' re-appeared. I can't remember how long has it been since 'it' came out in public.

It's hard.. I mean, why do I have to go through this bond if it wasn't even going to last long? Because it REALLY hurts! I've been through this phase before. I don't know why I have let myself unguarded this time. I mean, the barrier was still there when we first met but after we've known each other it has collapsed slowly, as if it hadn't even exist. I've been wondering about it lately. That's why I seem so lost most of the time. I wondered why I am soo comfortable with you guys. I mean, I have lost my senses, my judgement and this has cause my abilities to slowly escape from me.

Know what? Since you, I have become more fragile. Firstly, my shield of protection has gone for no reason, then my barrier has collapsed and now my heart is visible to everyone. I feel so exposed now, like I am naked. Not physically but mentally. Like my soul is now free and available even for strangers to read it. That is not fair! I know nothing in this world is fair and that's life. But to see and experience the cruelty by myself is just so wrong on so many levels! It feels like giving you a sword and asking you to tear my heart open and demanding you to play with its contents.

Now I don't even feel like inviting any excitement nor happiness to myself instead I welcome with open arms for sorrowness and dissapointments. I am now anti with cheerful thingy. Urgh. Time pass so fast even before you knew it. And when it does, no heart can be mend anymore. Right now I'm listening to happy songs to restore back my old self but it doesn't seem to be working. I am not even in the mood. I feel like shouting as my lungs can hold and run as long as my leg can't walk. I hate this! I despise this! Why oh why? How much more heartbreaks do I have to take and how many time do I have to be frustated with hopes and get dissapointed by things and people that I rely on? It is not fair!

The jewels.. the diamonds.. It's coming out now. It really is. Oh how and why have I lost my senses and old perspective of things? When did it happened? How can I redeem it? Urgh! No use. Now I too have become a pessimist person. Not cool. Why the jewels and diamonds need to be produced in order for me to come back to me, the original me?! Owh jewels, owh diamonds. Stay where you've hidden, locked up inside my heart, deep down inside. Do not take a shovel and find your way out. Please! Just stay there, where you belong, where you are needed most. Not up here, not here, not now, not for anything. Heartache. It's in now. Can't you feel it? Like a drummer beating you out of life. It feel just like standing next to a loudspeakers in a Rock-Metal concert. It is stressful, bothering and useless! Please don't... Please don't. Find something else to do. Don't drive your way out of there. Keep it low and steady down there. There, good! Stay there until you are summoned. And when you are, let it all out. But not now, not here, not in front of them.

Dear jewels in my eyes and the diamonds in my heart. Just hold on. Don't expose yourself or we won't have any protection anymore. It's dangerous out there and it is crucial for you to keep holding on. Oh my dear jewels and diamonds...

No regrets!

SAF! SAF! SAF! That's what been going on in my mind for the whole week. I coudn't stop thinking bout it, SERIOUSLY! But then came a sad news... Some of mr friends and I were instructed to go to the Debate Workshop instead. We were bound to do. Then I felt really jealous for my friends whom chose to go to the Larian SAF. I even told them to represent us by achieving at least one point for our faculty. Then the day came....

That morning I was supposed to wake up early by I woke up late. My heart didn't feel right. Like something was missing. All week I was torn inside out about two things in life I love the most, Debate and SAF. Then I re-read a text message Lady D gave to me. She said she'll be going to the Larian SAF instead. Then I knew it! I changed my mind and called GG. Both of us agreed that we REALLY100x wanted to go to the SAF. Then, we quickly changed up and waited downstairs for other friends. With a wide smile in our faces and enthusiasm firing in our soul, we greeted our friends. Most of them asked us why aren't we on our way to the Debate thingy. With smile we replied, "We are going to SAF! and that's it!" Well, it sounded something like that. Haha! When we arrived, we registered our name and warm up a lil bit as we were getting rusty. Of course we took many pictures and we happily posed for every click! Heee..

Then we were asked to go to the Padang Kawad. I was tying my shoe when the whistle were blown. Luckily I managed to finish it quickly and then began to ran. Thankfully I wasn't wounded. All of us got separated. At first I ran side-by-side with Rose but then she was lost out of sight and I ran sololy. It was tiring! Of course because of the non-stop mountain climbing. Though I was out of breath but I never gave up. When I reached the entrance gate, I ran along side with a senior from Sports Rec faculty, whom are our faculty's rival. Running besides him created a fire in me to help me keep on running. No matter what, I won't lose to myself! After a while I met up with Ezzasygs. Together both of us finished the race until the end and contributed one point to ou faculty! We supported each other along the way and boosting each others' confidence. Then we met up with some of our friends there. It felt good. I didn't have the feeling of regret AT ALL! Luckily the faculty provided us with some mineral waters and foods. It was an experience of no regret!

After that, we've decided to go to Sunway Piramid to do some S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G!! Haha.. We took the KTM and a mini bus. Though I was tired but still I wanted to enjoy the day no matter what. Whoa, I gotta tell you! GG was like a JUMPER. I mean, one minute she was there checking out some clothes and one second after that she's already at the counter paying the clothes. Great huh? Haha.. At least I was amazed. Then we hit Carls Junior for some food. The fries was ABSOLUTELY GREAT! You should try it out! It was on the house coz a friend of ours used to work there. So thank you Carls Junior and Allah for the delicious meal..! It's delicious coz it's free..! Haha,juz kiddin! It was fantastic okay. After a long search my friends and I finally found what we've been looking for at ROMP. It was craze! I felt like buying the whole store. There were discounts everywhere not mentioned all the sales! Whoa! Sunway Piramid is the place to shop! I found my cardigan there at ROMP. Then in the evening I spent the day having dinner at Secret Recipe. I did enjoy the cake. It was SUPERLICIOUS! But I was too full to eat anything else. Then my family dropped me off at Mawar. Coz I was superbly tired I fell asleep in the car. I was then safe and sound at Mawar. My friends was heading to McD to do some assignments. Poor them. But, NO REGRETS!

I enjoyed every minute of it! NO REGRETS! Heee

Friends, here we go!

It's safe to say that you all are my friends. There are 26 people in my class with 20 gurls and 6 guys. They are; Papi, Mummy, Ummi, Neighbour, Chegu, Dai, Kak Ngah, Ezza Syg S, TJ, Bell, Al, Fei2, Rabi, Kak Long, GG, Naniey, Mas, Rosmah aka Adek Chantek, Yan, Rose, Bang Long, Lee la Lola, Bro Megat, Ben, Bro Anas and me! Hee.. Sorry guys and gurls for revealing this here but I've gotta express myself or I won't be able to change for the better...

Everyone here is unique and different. Sometimes we'd even think alike. I have NEVER ever meet anyone with the same passion as I have. And somehow, I can connect to you all from the bottom of my heart. You're there in time of needs and we are walking through tears and laughters. My heart sober thinking we'd be separated the next sem. Anyway, let us enjoy the time being. In order for me not to forget you all, I'll write all about it in here. Sorry if what I'm about to say would hurt you or if it's untrue. But friends, here we go.

10 THINGS I'LL REMEMBER ABOUT YOU:
1. You're PROTECTIVE.
2. You DO CARE.
3. You're in time of need.
4. You see things the way that I do.
5. You make a better me.
6. You are always advising and guiding me.
7. You always teach me new things.
8. You drive me to the right path.
9.You make me laugh and smile.
10.You make me love you.


HOW UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT YOU ARE:
Pape Iz: Responsible, talented in singing and dancing, sporting and reliable.
Mummy: Somehow, you act like a mother to us with your warmth. There's something about you
that makes everyone comfy around you.
Ummi: You're sooo sweet! Haha. In the future I know you'll be a great Ummi! heee..
Neighbour: Spontaneous,funny and creative. Love it when you present certain topic. Especially
the 'My Grandmother' part. Haha. You're a great roommate too!
Chegu: Ha! You're a true teacher! You have that aura that tell us you'll be a fantastic teacher
someday. Trust me.
Kak Ngah: You too are talented in drawing and sketching the manga stuff. Love to mess with
yah.. Hee. Rajin k kamu.
Dai: Ha adik bongsu! You're so innocent but I'm glad coz you're not exposed to bad things in this
life. Keep bein cool ok.
Ezza Syg S: Hehe.. relax, im juz kiddin! You're both funny and cool. Keep it real! You're
hardworking, glad I have a groupmate like you...! Heee.
TJ: This is a true,most talented and caring teacher! Hati die baek gler n pnd wat explanation.
TJ, u rock!
Bell: Haha.. Love her slangs..! I cant resist her 'er' at the end of every words.. SO cool!!!
Al: Ini mmg sengal gler lah.. Haha, having you around makes me wanna burst in laugh. Keji ye
kamu ambil gamba saye tgh aerobik aritu..HAHA. I'll get my revenge soon. Neway, have
some confidence! Muke kau ayu n matured ok, xmcm aku..Haha
Fei2: You're really talented in fashion business and you are very charismatic indeed. Don't forget with the fact that you can be 'high' with too much sugar..haha Sugar Free!
Rabi: Ya Allah! Ko memang BAPAK PUAKA lah.haha. Sehari xsah kalo ko x mengeji aku k.
But, when we cooperate, we can accomplish so many great things together. Yela2 aku
ngaku. Mmg best ko ade sbb dgn ko jer aku leh mengeji..haha
Kak Long: Waa.. Ini mmg best! Although you're an only child but you have what it takes to be
a Kak Long and you're doing great so far! You're a debater and very charismatic.
GG: Zombie who likes to bite ppl. But you're really cool,smart,charismatic and fun! Haha. Cant
say bad things bout yah coz you'll do XOXO to me or even bite me..heee
Naniey: Wah! MMG org yg ANTI-GAGAK! haha.. ko nie klakar gle larh.. Kwn yg best! Hee.
Mas: WOW! Mmg sahabt sejati saye! Haha.. Xreti nk control dr menjerit d mana2 je, sengal2 tp
gempak kot! heee..
Rosmah aka Adek Chantek: Astagh.. Haha.. Keji juge ye makhluk Tuhan ini. Haha. Tp maintain
cool ye. Sgt sporting dan suke gaduh dgn Lee. Haha
Yan: Nampak jer biase tp agak ganas ye die. Muke die muke toilet.Haha! Sgt rajin,mmg rajin!
Rose: Ha,ni lg larh. Ganas bapak tp nk bergayut pon xbertempat. Toilet pon jd lah..haha.
Outspoken(the very maa..)
Bang Long: Waa.. Gagah perkasa k! He's the MAN! Hee.. rapat ngn Al.
Lee: SUke tido dlm klas, sporting, bengong ok and suke ckp meleret! Haha
Ben: Wawawa..Suke dgr die bercerita. Agak tggi and smart. Kinda popular among gurls.HAha
Anas: Haha..bro anas! Smiley person, suke sebut 'Ye ke?"-which annoy me very much! I'm close
to him . He's like a bro to me.
Bro Megat: Haha. Best ngn die..! Memang abg saye yg cool and hiphop. Suke pkai suar tido Rabi
and baju labuh (xsuke saye!). The beatboxer kot.Hee.. Sape nak die kne lalu interbiu
dgn adik n kkak die dlu ye..



Sorry if I offended yah. You're all so cool and fun to be around with! All are unique and special in your own way. Very talented and we often think alike. You know what they say "Great minds think alike". I've got to admit. Ever since I've been with you guys, there's just a lot of things that I can learn from each and everyone of you. Thanks for letting me to blend in and be who I am. I am now learning to be more expressive with how I feel. You're teaching me new stuffs everyday about relationship,life, religion and many more! I can feel now that I am becoming a better person and somehow my fear of XOXO are now starting to fade away. Help me more okay. Correct me if I'm wrong, Hold me when I'm about to fall, Guide me on how to be strong inside out and teach me things beyond my comprehension. So friends, here we go! That is all . Until next time, love you guys. Salam... -Mind the spelling. The keyboard is so 'SUPERB'..

What's The Matter?

Hurm.. Public transport? What do I think of it? Well, most of my horrifying experience is when I'm on the public transport. Twice actually but if added up to the latest experience I had this evening three time. Urgh.. Why do I always experience 'things' from perv guys. Am I magnet to freaks?? Aaaa!!! What's the matter with them?!





What's the matter? That's the question my classmates kept on asking me on that particular day. Not only that but also one of the seniors asked me if I'm alright. Even in the evening I found out that most of my friends were asking about me. In the morning I was bugged by a perv. I was afraid. And so I kept quiet that morning. After I told some of them about it, I pretended to smile and I even tried my best to think that everything was okay. Then when everyone was distracted I ran out of the class pretending to have a stomach ache. I don't know why but I broke down and cry in the toilet. I didn't know any tears would flow out of my eyes. When I was done, I felt better. I didn't want to involve my friends because I would only burden them. I do not have the heart to do that to them. Hurm..





Last week ( I think), a friend of mine was sick when we had finished our workshop. I pitied her. She threw up and my friends and I helped her way through the time. It happened at the bus stop. I already noticed her silence since we depart from the faculty. I knew something was wrong with the hot weather and I remembered her saying that she was so full. After that she suddenly looked pale and sick and so we asked what's wrong? Then, Lady D and I went to the nearest bus station to get some cabs but none were available. Then we decided to call them and luckily we managed to get two. Then we assisted her to her room and we accompanied her until her roommate came back. During that time we put some towels on her head and prepared a Panadol besides her bed. We thought her roomates would only be back at night but luckily one of her roommates came back about half an hour later. Then we left her there. That night my sick friend,GG, texted us and said that she's okay for now. Earlier another friend, Puaka dropped by and give a porridge. Anyway, all of us were glad that she's okay now.. Hee.. Alhamdullillah.





Lately, I am also not feeling well. I don't know why or how but it has been twice since I been having a really crazy headache. I have never felt that before. It's been bugging me. When I read an article on the topic 'Stress', I found out that I am having some of the symptoms of stress that could be developed to serious mental illness. I am sometimes more moody and aren't calm when coping with problems encountered. Argh! What's the matter?





Wow. Drama, drama, drama! Why does this has to happened to me? What's the matter? Hurm.. I haven't really solved the problems I have right now, but one more problem came. Urgh! Why? Huhu.. I am so mad at this one person. What's the matter with that person?! At first I had reconsidered about the thought of our relationship. I wanted to give the person a chance but he screwed it up by making it public. What the....! Urgh.. Another person, so shy. What's the matter! Urgh.. We're just friends.. Haha.. I want to stay solo this semester. My siblings have warned me not to have scandals here and there. Haha. They've got eyes and ears everywhere. Hoho.. I still haven't move on from my last crush. Ah! How I wish I'd meet him for one last time. Haha.. My crush? Hehe.. I just like to look at him from far away coz I like to look at his face. Haha.. It's nothing serious. Wawawa.. What's the matter? Ngeh3...





So............... WHAT'S THE MATTER???

OMG!!!

Last Friday, other Teslians and I went to the theatre at KLPAC for the 'Short and Sweet' Dance. The faculty sponsored half of the ticket price. It was cheap and an opportunity of a life time. So, my friends and I decided to go for it. After class, we rushed back to college. A friend of mine(TQ!) stopped by to check out a suitable cloth for the big night. After we went through all of my clothes in the beg and closet, we agreed to one. The green jacket and the white t-shirt. All of us headed to the bus stop at 5pm but like hell we waited for the taxis as none were there. How great is that? I mean, we dressed up well, put some make up on our faces but suffered out in the desert? I was sweating like Pi*! We tried calling some taxis but only one could make it. So the first four or five took it but I stayed coz only I have some of the numbers. We were supposed to be there before 6 pm but the clock is ticking and it's already near 6. So, we decided to stuff ourselves in the bus though it was crowded. Again,as usual, we had to stand in front and hold on to whatever was there. The journey was near but it felt long. When we arrived at Seksyen 2, luckily there was some taxis around. Thanks to God and optimism! Amin. Upon arrival, we rushed there. I wanted to run but some of us were wearing wedges so I apologise, again for making it worse. When we finally arrived where the bus were waiting, two friends greeted us with excitement. They were not happy coz we were left behind. Nope, it's not your fault. What can we do, right? It turned out to be, we weren't the last to arrive. There were also some other late comers who came half an hour after us. Though, we apologised and explained why we were late. The bus departed around 7 pm or so, then we started our journey. All of the guys have arrived. It's the first time we are beaten by the guys. Haha. Anyway, it didn't felt long coz we spent the day snatching pictures, talking and joking around. When we arrived with empty stomach, we were eager to find food! But truth be told, there were only can drinks and snacks available. Huhu. Hey, anything is better than nothing okay. 20 minutes later, we were called to be seated. I sat on the highest seat. Though it was a lil bit far but I could see it all from up there. On the seat were a piece of paper of evaluation of the short stories. We just had to choose the best and of course as a UiTM's student and a junior of Teslian, I would defenitely support my senior whom are competing! haha. Before we started, we were briefed a bit. I couldn't hear her all the way up from my seat. All of the acting were great but OH MY GOD! IT WAS 18SX!!! When we were exposed to such things, I just looked terrifiedly at my friends with disbelieving look coz I never thought it'd be like this. OMG! It goes like that again and again and again! My eyes, ears and mind have been polluted with such un-pure things! OMG! OMG! OMG! Seriously, the second story was the most unforgivable scene! Then there's this play when I had to covered my eyes from seeing two people from the same sex kissing. Although it wasn't real as been said by one of my senior, but still. It was disgusting. I couldn't get the image out of my head! Seriously, if tomorrow's theatre going to be like that, I'd be sooo pissed off! Yeah, I know I'm going to be 18 this year but I'm still 17 and even if I'm 18, I'd never want to see such thing.. Urgh. But apart from that, it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E! All of the plays were great but some I couldn't really understand what they're trying to say. After it was finished, we took some pictures again and then went straight back to our college. It was 12 am and my stomach is still rebelling. Earlier, a friend heard my stomach crying for food. It was so embarrassing! So as suggested, I went and buy a Maggi from another friend. I ate that and took some biscuits, drank Crysanthemum's tea and went straight to bed. and OMG! It was fun and tiring.

What The FOOD??!!!

Hey.. I wanna talk about something that's been bothering me this past two days. I just find out that all of my classmates and I would not be in the same class next year. Ow it hurts so much. I kinda fret about it and then I found out that I will get into another class next sem,which is Group A. Urgh! Adults.. What do they know about us huh? Yes they said that they was a teen once but thngs changed and people are really not the same so our situation is TOTALLY different. Why do they always think that they are ALWAYS RIGHT and we are always WRONG?! What the FOOD?!! They always think and do according to their own free will without considering our feelings and they always seem to think they are doing what's best for us when in truth they are making it worse. Not only it's hectic lo live a life in our shoe with our unreasonable schedule and the buses and the transport and all. Don't forget the assignments, homeworks and studying we need to do..! Urgh.. I know,I know.. That's life. But we're teenagers. For Goodness sakes give us some break will yah! The thought that all of us would be parted makes my heart breaks. I mean, c'mon! Our class have bonded well like we've known each other for a long time when we actually just started to be friends about two months ago. It's a class which I have never experienced before. We are really enjoying each other companion, loyalty and kindness. Almost evrywhere we go, you could see major of us there. We always stick together no matter what and we're really close to each other. Now, knowing the sad news, I couldn't help but to feel miserable. What do adults know about all of the sufferings we're going through? Yes they know our schedule is packed but they can't really feel unless they're in our shoes, I mean in our REAL SHOES. Then maybe they'd see the world through our point of view. Anyway, some people dislikes us. I think they're jealous coz we're really close while they are in groups and discriminating types of student. Imagine if the next sem I's be in the same class as they are, only God know what will happen. I know I won't be liked like I am now while among my classmates or our one big happy family. They might even alienate us especially me who like to make chaos and disturb people while making noises. Huhu.. I know.. I'm sooooo sad right now. Yeah,I know not all of us would be studying in the same course or even is the same class in Degree program but at least with all of the things we're going through, cut us some slacks will yah? We're TEENAGERS for Godsakes. When the time comes, we'll know it's time to say goodbye but for now, please don't. Don't take away the precious time we have left to spend with each other. I feel like crying.. Hukhuk.. Seriuosly.. I 'm soo sad. Whenever I think of this, I' be so upset and miserable that I amnot enthusiast as I was before. It feels like shit. YA ALLAH! WHY? Why are the adults so mean?! Why are they doing this to us? Really MOTHER FATHER tol.. humph. But one thing for sure, I'll miss all of you. It's really a bummer and heartache but what can we do. The decision is up to the 'adults', we're only teenagers. We don't deserve to do anything but to follow what the adults say. humph. As if you're an adult after all.

Test and more tests and much more to come....

Wow! It's gonna be a long week. I suppose? There are many quizzes and test this week. Many subjects to be covered but little time to do so. I still remeber the Listening Test's practise. Wow! Everyone was so scared and some couldn't handle the stage fright. I myself only did some little points coz before I knew it, my text was finished. I only took about 1 minute and a few second. Couldn't imagine what would happen today during the REAL TEST! huhu.. Yesterday was the best. After class, my classmates and I went to Barra. At first we took the bus but then we walk all the way there. Wow we used a lot of tables! Haha.. the couple sitting besides us was giving a disgust look. WHATEVER!!! Like we could care less..?? Haha.. Last night was OUR night okay! hehe.. The food there was FANTASTIC! Yeah it was spicy but it's worth the try. I ordered Nasi Goreng Ayam and it ws delicious! At first I ordered Nasi Goreng Kambing but they told us they can only serve the meal for 8 people. But both meal was MARVELLOUS! That, I can guarantee. Then on our way back to our college, we had to walk all the way there but no fuss coz we didn't mind. If we could walk from our college to Barra, then what's the matteer with the L** students? I mean, come on! Just wlak all the way there. EM, hello! The theme this year is TO WALK. So walk! Don't be so lazy okay. Soon you'll have a tummy like a 40 year old women. -I am SO PISSED OFF!- hehe.. Next week is our mid-term break so enjoy! But we can't really enjoy it coz there's many assignments to be completed! Huwaaa! Hehe. I have a crush here. His real name NOT is A. I don't know if he's attracted to me too but I don't really care coz to have this feeling is so much fun already. If he returned this feeling then I wouldn't know what to do. Haha! And I love to watch this one guy's face. His real name is A. haha.. Kinda the same right with my crush? hehe! Neway, my classmates and others have started to make assumptions about us. What the FOOD?! I just enjoy messing around with him. He's so sporting and didn't mind me waving and shouting his name. Hehe.. Plus, he's a gentleman. Waa.. Soooo SWEET! Okay, that's all for now. Later!

Today is What Happened

What happened today? Hmm... Today is what happened. Today, my classmates and I watched a movie entitled Kite Runners (if I'm not mistaken). It's a meaningful,sad and a beautiful story. Before the story started, the author of the book (which this movie is based on) gave a word or two. The place taken is at Afghanistan. We know there's war happening there but what we don't know are other conflicts that took place there. Even as a child, we are more likely to be harmed and abused by the adults. The place used to be a beautiful country but now it's a mess. I caught the meaning beside the main character in the movie. Overall, I think I understand what the author is trying to say. There's a part of us that is just a really coward person but it doesn't show. The movie made me think if I were to be in the exact position as the main character is, I might have done the same. Sometimes things happen and it is definitely the thing that made us furious but sometimes we would just neglect the feeling due to our cowardness and lazyness. There's a part of us that want to make things right but we can't even do justice when it is in front of us. Before judging the characters in the movie, we should really reflect our behaviour and to see what others see in us. Then you would realise how flaw,coward and small we are. Even when we have the power to do something, we won't do it because of fear. Okay, here's another story. I have a crush on this guy and it's just for fun, you know? To me, he's cool coz even when meeting him for the first time, he acted friendly like we've known each other. I've never met such a person. But, my friends are right. Though 18, but I'm still not ready to experience such heavy load of feelings and they are scared I might get involved in doing stuff i shouldn't be doing. I have such a fragile heart though I might seem not. I'm SUPER sensitive. So for now, I'll just let it be. I'll have fun just by experiencing that feeling and watch him from far while remaining friends. An so today is what happened. Hehe! ;)

Friends

Dear friends,

I am here and it is true for the past couple of weeks I might have forgotten you all. The fact is I've been so busy with my new life here until I may feel like forgetting you. A friend of mine sent a picture message to me earlier and then it came to me, I am missing you girls so much! True here I've got som nice and good friends but I can never find one like you. The truth is, in every person I've seen or known here, they would always have or act something that would remind me to each and one of you. No one treats me like you guys did. With you guys, it's like being in another world. You guys truly care for me and you guys would always look after me. After all, you guys are so familiar with my attitude of bothering people here and there and also set up pranks for y'all. You guys used to look up to me to ask about uncertain things in your mind and I would go to another friend to ask her opinion on it. Here, I have to take care of myself. No else would. Yeah, it's a lot of fun here but it's not the same without you girls being around. You guys understand and know when I am telling a joke. You uys know how to react to my behaviour. It may or may not take a lot of time for my friends here to be comfort around me like you do. They are all great but none of them are like you. There'e something missing from every different friends. Boy I wish we would meet again another time and just hang out, say stupid things, check out cute guys and just laugh out loud. Haha.. Oh, how I miss the old good days.... I miss you guys. Everyone of you are given nicknamees that I created but you didn't mind coz you'll only respond if I call you that! hehe.. I told you guys this before and I'll say it again. There's no such gang/ friends like you girls!

A University's Life...

Hey there,

I am now in my room. This is the third week I am here at UiTM. Before,I was so scared and unsure with my decision. But all of that went away with the experience I had and the confidence in myself assured me that this is the best decision I made my entire life. I chose to move on and I am happy with it. Here, it is way different than high school. The surroundings, friends and teaching methods are completely different than before. Here, we take studies seriously. All of my coursemates and I think the same. We love English and we are all out spoken. I found out some unique talents inside some of my classmates here. And so I can't wait till I found out what's all of coursemates' abilities. People say that, a friend in need is a friend indeed. Yeah,that's correct. Everyone of us have struggles and problems we have to deal with and with the help of each other, we are able to survive. We need each other in order to survive here. There's no longer any help from your family, it's just you and that's why we need our friends. If they help you out through thick and thin, therefore you have found your true friends. I admit I have found my true friends here. There are a lot of cultures and slang's I need to understand and respect. It's the same at the outside world. At university, I am taught to be independent and surviving skills for the future. Now, it's a good time for all of us but the pressure can be felt though. For all of you out there who are about to enter a university, I won't wish you good luck because I've been there,done that. Feel the fear and excitement of the curiosity. You'll be surprised on what university can offer. Just don't go thru a culture shock. Be yourself and study smart. Don't forget to enjoy your life as a student as well. You might think high school rocks but here it's so much better. Move on and let go of high school. Then you'll enjoy and cherish every moment spent here. Truly, T.A..

Ready for me?

Dear bloggers,

I am a girl,currently living in Asia. I just finished my secondary school(or high school). I am waiting to get into a local university. In the meantime, I would like to share my creations and thoughts with all of you. Hey, if you're going through the same thing as I am, then let me know ok? And do know that you're not alone. I'll be telling you about myself then. I realized the literacy thing is 'my thing' since I was 12. I looked at a sunset one day and felt it was very beautiful and nothing I say can describe even the tinniest details of it. Then I decided to write about it on a paper and boom! It just came to me. There are so many things in life left unanswered. I have so many question to ask but could not go to anyone. No one think like I do. I am a naive person. I believe in people and hope. But I am also a realistic person. I'm a day-dreamer. Sometimes I live in my own fantasy where the world is so much caring and loving. There's no crime to it right? (see? i am naive!) My idol is William Shakespeare. His words are so beyond anyone's comprehension. A poem to me is a place to talk about how I feel without anyone interrupting or judging me. I can talk all day but not say what's in my heart. Thus William's words do describe everything that he feels. It's like not saying straight-forward but if seen carefully, you'll know what it means. I am still improving 'my dictionary' though. So sorry if I'm not good enough. If you read my past creations, you can see how childish I was. I can see it through. The best of all,I could see through anyone if I spent 5 minutes on looking at them. But if given a day, I could interprete what's on the person's mind. It is also unlucky for me though when seeing a movie and just at the beginning, I could tell right away what's the ending. Only good scriptwriters may surprise me and prove I'm wrong. I don't want to be like anyone else. I want me,my own identity. As a poet once said, "be yourself. Everyone else is taken". I want to be one of a kind. I want to be unique. Do you think I can? My self esteem can easily be crushed through one criticism. I am very sensitive,that's why I can detect any changes. But sometimes it doesn't really benefit me. Okay,now i am ready to for the world. But are you ready for me?